Teased Beyond Decent Plotline
Lana Scott    Tower Staff

    A Scottish hairdresser armed with scissors, a hairdryer and some shampoo comes to Los Angeles to enter a styling competition. Sound interesting yet? Wait! It gets better. To add to this situation are tons of mundane obstacles to get in his way and so, when he finally wins the competition, the audience can feel joyous and inspired. Now it sounds interesting right? This mess sums up the plot of "The Big Tease," a rags to riches story trying to tug on the heart strings of "the little people in the world" who will do anything to succeed. While the film has a slew of humorous moments, the laughs become tiresome very quickly and delve into the world of the absurd.
    Graig Ferguson, straight off his role as the offbeat boss Mr. Wick on The Drew Carey Show, plays our tortured Odyssey like hero Crawford Mackenzie, a flamboyant gay hairdresser with big dreams of being the most famous hairdresser in the world. Filled with an ego big enough to fit the entire campus of CUA, Crawford is invited to compete in the annual World Freestyle Hairdressing Championship in Los Angeles. Besides the competition, a documentary is being made about him so throughout the film, he is trailed by a hapless TV-documentary producer played by Chris Langham. We, or should I say the producer, see every moment of Crawford's life as he goes from obscure hairdresser in Glasgow to a hairdressing god in Los Angeles.
    However, what is a rags to riches story without the flare of drama as seen through pointless after pointless obstacles standing in our hero's way. Our journey begins in Glasgow, where the documentary filmmaker is following Crawford around, letting the audience see why we should love this guy. He is loved by everyone in Glasgow, especially his mother. We see how he lives his life day to day and the pride he takes in his country. We learn that this contest is not just about doing hair, but about believing in who you are and where you came from. With that notion in mind, Crawford leaves his humble home to Los Angeles in search of, you guessed it, the prestigious Platinum Scissors Award offered to best hairdresser in the world. Our hero gets to LA, makes friends with a would be actor/limo driver and heads off to the competition. However, Crawford soon finds out that he was invited to be at the competition but not as a competitor but as an audience member. With his shattered ego and heart, he finds out that the only way to be in the competition is to have a hairdressing guild card ( a mockery of the famous Screen Actors Guild card). The rest of movie shows Crawford, with his mock documentary staff at hand, through several, often humorous, mishaps. From doing the hair of amusement park actors dressed as animals to being chased by gunshots in a gang neighborhood, we start to feel sorry for Crawford as his fight for his gold scissors diminishes. But, by the stroke of luck and some heavy duty convincing of the mayor of Los Angeles, Crawford is in the show. Competing against raging egotists hairdressers, Crawford outdoes them all, proving again that anyone's dreams can come true if you keep trying.
    In trying to make the audience feel sympathy toward Crawford, the film, at first, succeeds, but towards the end, fails. One could say that Graig Ferguson gives a fine performance but the absurd styles of the hair at the competition draws the audience away from the true meaning of the film and we are left to ponder "is this really serious?" From hair in the shape of the Titanic to Crawford's ridiculous tribute to Scotland with a Scotsman flying out of a woman's green hair, the film becomes outlandish. It's not that the competition part of the film isn't funny; it's just overacted and overdramatized. Its hard to feel inspired by Crawford because we feel his struggle all the way to the point where his wearisome efforts seem monotonous.
    "The Big Tease" is a big messy excuse for a comedy that is flat. This story of overcoming great odds to finally getting what you want is tired and worn-out and it leaves an audience feeling as if they have seen this same type of film before; a good old boy from the backwoods of a small town travels to a big scary city to succeed in a world that doesn't want him. He triumphs and wins his trophy and yet, this film doesn't deliver anything special. The only good thing about this film is the performance of Frances Fisher (Rose's mother in Titanic), who plays a publicist who helps Crawford get into the contest. Her performance is brilliant as she snaps at people with bitterness that can freeze beer. She is the only character that seems to be real while the others are just mere misconceptions drowning in the pool of stereotypes in this senseless film.